I like to talk. I consider myself to be a social person and when I speak with someone I feel I can talk about a variety of topics. I like to listen to what others have to say as well. A conversation is a verbal interaction between two people. Yet, have you ever been stuck in a conversation where you are not participating because the other person is talking too much?
For the most part, I don’t avoid people. But, I have met a couple of people in my life where I purposefully try to look busy or in a hurry so that I don’t get stuck talking with them. These people I am describing aren’t bad people. They just lack the social ability of conversation. They just talk about themselves, don’t ask questions to the other person, provide way too much information about their personal lives or other random/unrelated information, and are incapable of perceiving the social cues that the person they are talking to is not wanting to talk to them.
So, what is one to do if they get caught in a one-sided verbal beat down that is wasting their time? First, prevention is key. Try to avoid situations that might lead to a prolonged interaction with that person. You don’t have to be rude but you must maintain control of your situation. Second, have a friend phone you. A friend of mine was stuck in a conversation for some 30 minutes when he was saved with a phone call from a friend that saw his predicament. I wouldn’t text because the person can still talk to you while you text. Third, pretend not to speak English. This may be hard especially if the person knows you speak English but it might be worth a shot. Fourth, go to the restroom. Excuse yourself to the bathroom. This is very useful if the person is of the opposite sex because hopefully they won’t follow you into the restroom. Lastly, just walk away. A classmate of mine that has been stuck in a conversion with a person with this problem will just put his hands slightly elevated in the air, shake his head no, and say “Sorry, I can’t do this.”
There are many possibilities when it comes to aborting these conversation traps. I would be interested if anyone has any other good ideas on how to end a conversation they don’t want to be a part of.
After being caught in some of these time-consuming and head exploding conversations, I have tried to make sure I am not doing this to anyone. I am being more aware of time and interaction level in a conversation. If you are controlling over 75% of a conversation, be nice and let the person be and go do something else.
